RUSS TOBIN'S BEDSIDE GUIDE TO SMOOTHER SEDUCTION

• Marks out of 10 for Cover

 The bird has a nasty perm and Russ, the sly old dog, is pouring champagne in her lap. His hair looks like Weetabix. Bill Tidy illustrates the book in a fairly Daily Express kind of way. 6/10

• Cover Notes

 "IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM SLEEP ON IT. If seduction is an art then that Stud of the Seventies Russ Tobin spearheads a school of his own. Grab hold of your voddie for his latest amorous adventures would sap the energies of the most garngantuan talent. The result of letters from his millions of readers is that Russ presides over a hilarious arena of sexual calamity and conquest to guide you beyond the basic truth that a bird in the hand is worth it."

• Brief Description of PLOT (if applicable)

 Less of a plot - more just Russ Tobin recounting various of his sexual adventures and offering advice to the would-be stud.

• Page at which first lecherous description of a BIRD occurs

 Page 10

• Page at which first SHAG occurs

 Page 30

• Page at which Tobin first drinks a Vodka Tonic

 Page 12

• Page at which Tobin first reminisces about a previous adventure

The entire book is a series of reminiscences, under the pretence of answering his reader's letters

• Serious points raised

That everyone is unique and whatever advice Russ gives might not necessarily work. More of a disclaimer really.

• Rating on the MORGANOMETER

Fairly pointless book as 90% of it has already been published in some form - probably a cash-in - so I'm going to give it nothing at all.